Restore Honor.

For those who read the last post in it's entirety, here is something to energize you.







Peace Out, Patriots.


Cam. :)

You've Lost Your Freaking Mind, or; 'Fuck You, Glenn Beck'

My pre-bedtime ritual these days usually involves watching an old Special Comment from MSNBC's 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann'.    Something about prevailing logic soothes my worrisome mind before bed and I end up sleeping like a baby.    Last night I found myself watching a review of 2008's 'favorite' people - the good, the bad and the ugly.    You can't mention influential people in 2008 without first acknowledging the election of the first African-American to the office of President of the United States.    President-Elect Barrack Obama.   Those four words, also highlighted by Olbermann, still manage to send a chill down my spine.    It shouldn't be hard for anyone to stop for a second and recall that moment when we all felt the world was changing for the better.   Not knowing what would come, we all had hope again.   It really didn't matter what obstacles lay before us, because we had faith that we had changed the world for the better and it would continue to improve.   I remember watching President Obama walk to the podium for that acceptance speech, and thinking to myself 'I cannot believe this is actually happening'.     The only time prior to that moment, in my 27 years of life so far, that I had also felt that feeling was on September 11, 2001.   But for entirely different reasons.     One moment was unbridled fear and confusion, the other was energizing and joyous - but both were one of those moments where everything else around you falls away and you are left with the 'here and now'.

 Watching small clips of those moments in 2008 seemed so foreign and strange.    I was overwhelmed with this melancholy nostalgia, this feeling of 'oh, I forgot how amazing that was'.    And that in itself is enough to send me into a bout of immense sadness, followed by great fury.    Let me explain.    In 2008, a huge majority of the American people felt that they had been so poorly mishandled by the Bush Administration, that our country had suffered so greatly, that we ended up backing someone who excited us about being American again.   All the sickening aspects of what meant to be American in the previous 8 years could be washed away by the successful election of this seemingly revolutionary man named Barrack Obama.    I dare any of you out there to watch any of Obama's speeches from 2008 and not feel energized.   He was extraordinary, and I believe this is why he won the election.    The sad realization now is that he is no longer extraordinary.   Surely he is the same man and can tap into what made him so amazing in 2008?   Unfortunately, he is no longer the same man.    Thanks to our friends entrenched in the far-right wing of US politics, Obama has had to endure the ugliest of battles and he has not prevailed.   Obama has endured people claiming he was not born in the United States, people claiming he is a 'secret Muslim', people claiming that he is a closet Socialist, people claiming that he is trying to destroy the Constitution and usher in Sharia Law, and people claiming that he has scarred the great name of this country and done irreparable harm to our future.    These people, quite simply, are liars.    They have been scared for a long time, and now they have a direction to spit their anger.

I had been keeping Fox News' Glenn Beck on my radar for a while - close enough to see the damage he is doing, but not close enough to become enraged by his lies.    However, it struck me today that his historical revisionism is not something to simply laugh at, but instead something that needs to be stopped.    Case in point; his call-to-action to 'Restore Honor'.    Sounds simple enough, but watching these videos of Obama in 2008 made me realize, that's what we were doing.    After 8 years of global embarrassment from the Bush Administration, 8 years of pure hell for anyone who didn't want to attack other countries for the decisions made by a small but dangerous terrorist group, 8 years of shame for being an American, we were finally restoring honor to our country.     Internationally, people were shocked that the US public had pulled through and showed that they weren't a bunch of war-crazy, inbred hicks.   Instead, we were sane again.    People could now remember why we had been so proud to be Americans.    And now, Glenn Beck is fucking with that notion.

It's bad enough to have a large number of Americans listening to the filth and lies that this pudgy-faced Mormon espouses on his national cable program and radio show, but the fact that he has actually managed to erase part of history with his chalkboard and now claim ownership of what we did is unforgivable.    Glenn Beck has made no secret of the fact that he wants to fight the logic and reason and claim those who give up and join the right-wing.   I suggest we take a page out of Beck's book and begin to Restore Honor.    Watch any of those 2008 videos.    Obama's character and drive have been a casualty of these attacks, but we owe it to our past and to who we are as Americans to fight for his right to be remembered as the American that made a difference.   The American that finally pulled us back out of the gutter.   The American that had hope, brought change, and gave us a chance to be red-blooded patriots again.

Game on, Glenn Beck.   We beat your side before and we will do it again.

Peace Out, Freaks.

Cameron.

Brevity, As Promised.

A German Shepherd with a moustache.   Tell me THAT isn't what the internet was made for.

Peace Out,

Cam. :)

A-Blue-Hoo-Hoo.

So, it is exactly 4 days until I'm in my late twenties.    Jesus.   Whenever you reach a 'milestone' age that you have set for yourself, you immediately begin to reflect on where you have been, what you have done, and where you thought you would be by now.    At 27, where did I think I would be?    If I cast my mind back to leaving high school, I probably thought by this age I'd be in a suit, working in Marketing, probably in New York.     I didn't know what any of that would mean for me as a person, but I told myself that's what I wanted.    Instead, when I turn 27 this Thursday, I will still be in retail.   I am back living with my parents and paying off a substantial credit card debt.    I will still be overweight, in a city I really do loathe, and I will have abandoned a good majority of my friends.   Ah, hell, the entirety of my friends.   I have an unfinished degree, no real assets to my name, and have only been in love once.   Am I the person I thought I would be?   Not in the slightest.   Am I happy with who I've become?   Somewhat.    Periods in my life where I have truly fallen over and become stuck in one position have resulted from the difference between what I want, what I am, and what I think I want.     There needs to be a pervasive, underlying drive to move towards what you want - but if you can't even work out what that is, what the hell are you supposed to do?

My best friend, Scott, leaves tomorrow to move back to the country.   Scott is now 31 years old and the best person you could ever hope to know.    People rarely seem to appreciate him for how truly brilliant he is, and I myself have fallen into that category on more than one occasion.   I would say that Scott is in the same sort of position as me.    He seems to think he wants to do one thing with his life, he tries it, then decides it isn't right for him, and moves on.   I think, at our core, this is everyone, no?    Maybe we are all floating and grabbing onto something close by, then letting go when we want to float again?     The point is, Scott is moving back to the country to be close to his family.   He is moving into his Grandmother's house with his new boyfriend and will spend a great deal of time fixing it up.    That sounds truly ideal to me.    I would be quite happy living that life.   I don't think Scott has realized it yet, but I truly think he may have finally found what he's been looking for.   This could be the final grab for a floater.

While I am very happy for him, it has prompted a great deal of sadness in me.     I am still floating.  Or stuck.   I can't tell.   I want to be heading towards something.    Something that I decide is my 'ideal'.   But I have no idea what that thing is yet, so I am still here.    Scott's departure has unraveled a few things emotionally, which may explain part of why I was so torn up about him leaving.    He kept telling me we'd see each other again, frequently perhaps, and that I was being silly, but there are realizations coming to mind that he is unaware of.     I have realized, now that I am quite alone in Sydney, that I have ignored and cut off most of my friends.    I have had some great, amazing friends over the years, but being a Naval son means you quickly have to abandon friendships and form new ones when you move to a new city.    Every two years, I was starting at a new school, promising to keep in touch with my old friends, and then forming new friendships to replace the old ones.    I am by no means blaming anyone or even saying this is out of my control and vindicates me somehow, but it is ALL I have ever known when it comes to friendships.    I had so many close, beautiful friends in Melbourne, and when I left to move to Sydney, I knew deep down that it was kind of not going to continue with them.    But Scott was up here with me.   And now that he's going away, I feel like my last tie to who I have been for the last 9 years (my time in Melbourne) is fading away.

As much as I want to bash myself upside the head and have a 'Blue Week' and eat my problems away, I have to be realistic.   I have achieved some phenomenal things in the past few years.    With the help of some very important people, one in particular, I managed to fight depression and severe anxiety.    No more panic attacks and some serious work on my self-esteem.   I have paid off half of my entire debt within one year.    That's reason enough to jump up and down.    And, if I get my way with Citibank, I will have the remainder paid off in the next 6 months.     I have also defined certain personality traits that I want to carry and display each and every day.    These are personal, and quite private, but some of the work I have done has proven to myself that I am capable of great changes.    I quit smoking.   A two-pack-a-day habit that has drained my bank account for the past 7 years is now gone.     So as 27 approaches, although I don't know where I am heading, maybe I have a clearer idea of where I've come from.    A shaky path I once stumbled upon has now been paved into something solid - a firm base for progress.    I don't know where that path is heading yet, but all I have to do is keep walking.    Don't float.   Don't get stuck again.   Just keep walking.   Let the world surprise you.

So that's my rant for tonight.   I promise I will work ten times as hard to bring some brevity in my next post.   Thank you for reading, thank you for engaging.   

Keep walking, freaks!

Peace Out,

Cam. :)

A Re-Welcome, Of Sorts...

This is possibly the worst decision of my life.    Or maybe I'm overstating things.    I have decided to wipe my blog clean and start again.    My fingertips are recoiling as I try to type.   Ever fiber in my being is sending off warning bells, begging me not to do this.    It's danger.   Absolute, frenzied danger.   You see, I am an addictive person.   Highly so.    I thought I could 'try' smoking and, thus, became a two-pack-a-day smoker for many years.   I am now a non-smoker (more on that to come), but the addictive side to my personality still remains.   I don't do things in half measures, and so retooling a blog and starting from scratch will mean the end of having any free-time that isn't 'blog related'.   So, in a way, this is actually quite beneficial for you.    You.   Whomever you may be, wherever you may hail from.   Whether you are a Korean-American nail artist with a penchant for velour, or a German retiree with an unhealthy hatred of tan-lines and a 'totally unrelated' criminal conviction for public indecency, my blog is here for you.   It will churn and roll and bumble and soar and it will all be for you.   So let me know what you want, go on.   Don't be shy.   Hit that comment button and make yourself heard.   But if you hear a story on the news about a man dying in some freak blog-related accident due to his 'addictive obsession with posting', you will only have yourselves to blame, really.

Peace Out,

Cam.